The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon.
So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation.
"All who want to go to heaven, please rise."
Everyone got up except the snorer.
After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced,
"All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
Awaking with a start ， the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpi——
"Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on,
but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
Little Johnny says "Mom, when I was on the bus with Daddy this morning,
he told me to give up my seat to a lady."
"You've done the right thing," says Mommy.
"But Mommy, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut.
But this was against the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time.
While Miles was at the barber's one day,
the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut and sat just beside him.
"Hello, Miles," the manager said.
I see that you are having your hair cut in office time."
"Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly.
"You see, sir, it grows in office time."
"Not all of it," said the manager at once.
Some of it grows in your own time."
"Yes, sir, that's quite true."
Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."
One day, the father lets eight year-old son send a letter,
the son took the letter ,
the father then remembered didn't write the address and addressee's name on the envelope.父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。
After the son comes back, the father asks him: "You have thrown the letter in the mail box?"
"You have not seen on the envelope not to write the address and the addressee name?"
"I certainly saw nothing written on the envelope."
"Then why you didn't take it back?"
"I also thought that you do not write the address and the addressee,“
is for does not want to let me know that you do send the letter to who!"是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”